(no subject)

I feel quite odd today.

It's a sort of warm, fluttery feeling. I keep wanting to smile, or laugh, or just pirouette randomly in full view of everyone. I have to work carefully to keep a tiny smile away from the corners of my mouth, a sparkle out of my eyes, a dance out of my step.

By all rights I should be in love, or have made a new friend, or have just gotten some wonderful news. I haven't. I had a singularly mediocre day, broken up by a few moments of anxiety and mild amusement. Certainly nothing that should be inspiring that sort of emotion.

I am a very, very confused person right now.

(no subject)

I feel slightly dizzy as well; light-headed. Light-headed, uneasy, slight feeling of general illness, all of this alternating with warmth, slight shivers, and utter joy.

I must be sick.

Knew I should have gotten a flu shot.

(no subject)

( Forgive me... )

(no subject)

I feel like a twit. An absolute idiot, a first-rate moron, walking around with a blindfold and earmuffs on. The trick, now, is to stop everyone to figure out exactly how my lack of judgement manifested; and, if I can, to prevent such foolish behavior in the future. I am this close to slamming my head against a wall.

I was mentally exhausted last night; so exhausted that my body stopped working quite right because my mind wasn't exerting enough control. I was wearing a pair of slim jeans, quite long- even on me, who usually wears a 36" inseam. I was walking up the stairs on the balls of my feet and somehow (I blame the jeans) my legs just sort of folded underneath me and I was staring at the carpet right under my nose. It was alarming that my mind could fail me in such a way.

So shalt thou rest, and what if thou withdraw
In silence from the living, and no friend
Take note of thy departure? All that breathe
Will share thy destiny.

-Thanatopsis, William Cullen Bryant

This part touched me, for some reason. It makes me feel less alone.

The gay will laugh
When thou art gone, the solemn brood of care
Plod on, and each one as before will chase
His favorite phantom...

Same poem. This one made me laugh, at the mental image of a bunch of people chasing around various phantom versions- and some people chasing two or three at once, or trying.