(no subject)

I need a knight in shining armor.

That's been my thought all day, while every person I know proceeded to make an ass of themself in some way or other. When I realized I don't know a single male- and precious few females- that I would consider telling even the shallowest of secrets. It's hard to realize how much you grow away from people in a year, two years, three years... it looks like such a short time, and I never felt that much further away from them; but like continental drift, it adds up and builds up until Pangaea is no more. Or something.

I need someone to protect me, defend me, support me, love me, help me, explain things to me when I'm too frustrated to understand... I think the answer to that problem is supposed to be "a parent", but somehow it isn't. It might also be "a love", but I don't have one of those either, and the prospects are bleak. I feel a shade of regret for that.

I know maybe five people I truly and deeply respect, all of them female, for the simple reason that I don't meet many guys and they are immature and imbecilic more than I care to think about. I wish, beyond all else, that I could meet someone to change that.